The love of a Grandma.

Funerals.
When you hear that word most people think of sadness & pain.
Tonight I saw something different. --I saw happiness. Happiness in knowing she is in a better place & knowing she is with the man she always loved. They are reunited. I heard memories. Memories that I only wished I could have seen for myself, but hearing about them tonight & being allowed to enter into that world, was love to me.

I only met her once, but one time was all it took for me to come to adore your Grandma. She had this bright smile that lit up the entire room & made you feel like family from the moment you walked in her door, til the moment you walked out. She showed me love & acceptance & told me to come around whenever I wanted to....I only wish I had.

As I sat in the pew tonight as you walked around & greeted family that you hadn't seen in years, I memory walked. I let myself memory walk tonight to a day that will always be dear to my heart. July 1st, 2012. The day I met her. Every time I pictured her face in my mind, I cried. I don't exactly know why because she was your grandmother, but I did. I cried because I remembered hearing her talk to you & how proud she was of you. I cried because I remembered when she asked who I was & you introduced me as your girlfriend & she showered me in loving words. I cried because I remembered how much I didn't want to go meet her that day, because my stomach was in knots, I was so nervous to meet someone so important to you. & in the end I cried because I'm so grateful for that day & for you, because of the fact that you took me to see her & she got the chance to meet me & I got to hear stories from your childhood.

I realized tonight that July 1st, 2012 will always hold more meaning than I ever thought it would. & I'm so grateful for that.

As we said our goodbyes to her this evening I looked over at you, as you had tears in your eyes & I began to break inside for you. You don't cry very often, but when you do I see that it's you letting all your walls down & allowing yourself to feel sadness. Tonight I saw that. & tonight, for the first time in three years, I stood back & let you deal with your sadness alone.

Thank you for taking me to the house they use to live in & telling me stories from your childhood. Thank you for taking me to meet her & allowing me to feel loved by her. I only wish I could have met her more than once, but at least I have one memory to carry with me. Her infectious smile & laugh. She was stunningly beautiful.

She was proud of you. I could see it & hear it in the conversation you two shared. She'll always be proud of you, & she'll always be with you. --The day you graduate college, get married, have your first child. Every journey in your future, she'll be watching over you, with love & adoration for you.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this tonight & giving me the opportunity to say goodbye to her as well. She was a beauty.

love,
me.