fears and inabilities.

I have fears just like everyone reading about my crazy life. There are days I don't feel like I mean all that much to anyone. I have trust issues. I wish I didn't, but I'm slowly learning how to trust again. I've met some amazing people that have taught me that trust can be gained again once it's lost. It's not going to be easy, but if you fight and never give up, it'll come around at some point.

I remember about 1 year and almost 4 months ago, I didn't want to trust anyone. I was scared to, because I've been hurt by many people in my life. I gave it another shot, because there were a couple people that were trying to come into my life, and I was scared to let them in. I did though. I'm grateful I did.

Trust is hard to build a first time, but once it's built and then lost, it's even harder, but I believe that, that is where the challenge comes in. If it's something worth fighting for, then trust will come along with you fighting. Never give up on something you believe in.

If I had given up on trusting people except for my family, I wouldn't have the amazing people in my life right now. I wouldn't have a best friend. :)

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Want to know another one of my fear? Love.

I'm scared to fall in-love. I guess over the past couple days I've been thinking about it more, and I want to stay young I guess. I'm scared to say the words, "I love you." I don't know why though. They're beautiful, and lovely. They have so much meaning behind them, and why wouldn't I want to say them to one man someday? I don't know. I guess it's fear.

I know you're not suppose to live in fear, but I guess the reason I'm scared is because I only want to say those 3 words to one man in my life. What if I say them to the wrong man? I don't know.

For once, I'm writing but I'm not the one with the answers. And if you all know me at all, I like to figure things out on my own. I like to have an answer. Maybe it's just my time to wait.

I need to rely on God for this, because I don't want to be scared to say, "I love you." I want to declare it to the world, when the time comes. I want to be crazy in-love and not have a care in the world.

Is anyone else scared to love? Maybe I'm so scared because I've never been in-love. I've never experienced the kind of love most people long for. I want to though. I've never said those 3 words to a man...But I'm excited about when the time comes. I know that when the time is right, God will open up this part of me that I've never seen before. That's how I'll know it's right.

I'm excited.

=)

.Princess in Waiting.