drifters of the wind.

{My mind is feeling free tonight. Unable to settle down & feeling more than content at where I'm at right now.}

--I'll be honest with you all, I have my days of doubt, but I find that when I'm in doubt of where my future will lead, I need to seek comfort in my Daddy God. I've been having a lot of days here lately where I've felt like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. The weight of work, future decisions, family issues, everything in my life I felt was coming down on me all at once. Ever have those days? If you say no, you're lying. Everyone has challenging days & that is the reason I haven't really been writing, because I didn't really feel like throwing my problems on my readers.

But, I learned something here lately, no one is going to get it right in this life. We are ALL going to fail. & in the past month or so, I've failed, a lot.

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I spent a portion of my day today reading my sister's blog--
http://messyharbor.tumblr.com/

I suggest you go right now & read her story. it's exquisite.
It's beauty pouring throughout her words. &&, it's because of her that I'm writing tonight. As I was reading one of her writing in particular, I felt an urge for her. A desire to put myself in her shoes for just a moment & know what it was like to be the one behind that writing. I found it hard to though, to be in her shoes, to walk where she has walked. To even begin to understand her depth of happiness, sorrow, giddiness, sadness. All of it. I don't think it's ever easy to understand someone, even if you've been through something similar as they have. You haven't walked that life, you haven't experienced their struggle, because we all deal with life differently. --& that's normal. We're suppose to respond differently to life, because God didn't create any one of us the same.

I am different than you.
I always will be & you'll never begin to understand the life I have lived.
That is just an honest truth.
You may think you know my life & my daily obstacles & life's little spurts of love God sends my way, but you don't. --But, through my words & the simple way my hands run across the keys & my pen hits the paper, I will try to express this life to each & every one of you.

I am a drifter of the wind. 
{I change my mind a million times a day.
I can eat fried pickles like no one's business.
I let my messy curls be free whenever they want to be.
I believe in forgiveness.
My mind gets confused with my heart at times.
I'm not a morning person. Rather, I'm a night owl.
My family is dysfunctional, crazy & witty & I wouldn't have it any other way.
{My world is made up of kitty cuddles, always cheerful goodmornings from my parents, windows down & sunshine bursting throughout the sky, & drifting of the pen into my journal of far away thoughts.}
I am a failure at this life God has given me. But, who isn't? truthfully.
&&, to be honest, I'm okay with admitting that.
As I'm sitting in my room tonight & listening to--
'The One You Need" By:Shane & Shane
I'm okay with stating the truth. It needs to be written. More so, it needs to be admitted.

Tonight, my mind is at peace. My mind is giddy, literally I have this happiness about me & I don't really know how to describe it. All I know is that it's a really good feeling.

I'm a million little blown dandelion flowers trying to find a place to land. Trying to seek out a place that's safe & unused. A place where they can start over & become something. My mind is bursting with wonder & curiosity. --This is my mind drifting, tonight.

.Messiness.