Autumn.

"Every leaf speaks bliss to me. Fluttering from the autumn tree."

-Emily Bronte-

Fall is this to me. Pure happiness falling from the trees above. It's feel good weather, bundling up by the camp fires & going to the corn maze on a cold Saturday evening.

Enjoy this Fall evening with the people you love.

.Princess in Waiting.

staring.

--Saw this tonight while doing my nightly {Pinterest.com} findings & it just simply brought a smile to my face.

enjoy lovelies.

Grace.

I'm only a Senior once.

{I'm a Senior. In high school. 

I have been for a couple months now but,

it's officially hitting me, right now, at this moment.}

I'm having to venture out on my own & make my own choices.
I know at least one thing in my life that I'm about to be able to choose on my own.
It's hard to realize that ALL these years, leading up to this moment have passed.
I've made the choices I've made up until now.
I've met the people I was going to meet.
& I've lost the friends I was meant to for me to become who I am.
I know that when I say that people probably think, "Why do you think God would mean for you to be hurt in life & take people out of your life that you thought would be there for the day you had your first date & when you walked down the aisle to the boy you loved & when you welcomed your first child into the world?"....or as I'm thinking of right now, the day you GRADUATED from high school.
God's plan for our lives is NOT to hurt us, it's to show us just how much He loves us & to show us that no matter how many people we let walk all over us & tear us down, in the end, He is there. To catch us when we fall & to love us through it ALL.
We forget that a lot. 

As I'm sitting here tonight, looking back on the past 4 years of my high school chapter of my life, I'm reminded of all the laughter & happiness I've experienced. All the friends that stood by my side in that time & loved me through the tough days. It's meant a lot.

The sisters that have become my BEST friends.
Some people I've met are shocked that my sisters, the people I live with daily could become the people that I LOVE to spend my time with & tell everything. The friends that I tell my quirky little dreams to & believe in them with me. The friends that stick it out through thick & thin & don't just get tired & walk off. They listen. They give you their time, even if they only have very little. & they love with the best kind of love.

I feel a little bit like I'm saying 'goodbye', but in a way, I am. I'm saying 'goodbye' to a chapter in my life that has been a huge part in my book. I've grown so much in this chapter {height wise also} ;)
& I've become this girl that is still very much searching. Searching for love, kindness, happiness, randomness, quirkiness, the moments that take your breath away, instantly. & just acceptance.

{I have no idea what this next chapter will hold for me, college. Where God will lead me, who He will bring into my life, if it'll be a lovely boy or just beautiful new friends. It's magical though, to not know. To wonder what all God has written & laid out for me in this next new adventure He has for me.}

I know this has been a very long 'blog' for tonight, but I haven't written out my heart in awhile & I've honestly missed it. To be honest, my life is in these writings & in my journals.

--Well, just because I'm a Senior in high school doesn't mean I don't have to be up early like everyone else, so I'm going to say 'goodnight.'

Sleep well lovelies.
.Princess in Waiting.

Believing in God, even when you're weak.

"courage is choosing conviction over compromise"

-nameless.

My sister sent me this quote from something she heard a couple weeks back in a lesson that was given at her Missions Training Program, & it really hit home with me. It showed me that sometimes you may not always have the strength to do the 'right' thing, but it's better than just 'giving in' because that's what the rest of the world is doing. Compromise normally only ever makes the other person happy, not yourself, or MOST importantly God.

Following God is NEVER going to be easy. I'm just going to break that to you right now people. He doesn't make our lives easy, because if He did then we'd just sail through life never having obstacles or challenges to slow us down & remind us that we DO need God by our side in this crazy life.

Never give into peer pressure, I'm having to learn that right now, yes I'm a Senior in high school & I should have already learned that by now, but up until this year I've been homeschooled. I'm learning a lot in my Senior Year & to be honest a lot of it is hard, but it's just reminding me home much more I need to rely on God for my strength. I'll be honest though, with how much school I have right now & homework it's hard to make time for God, but I'm trying. I'm trying to give more to Him instead of just asking Him to forgive me at the end of the day.

With God, anything is possible but without God, nothing is possible. It will always in the end, fail.

Well, I believe I'm going to keep this writing short for tonight because well, it's late. I'm tired from a longggg day at school. & I have to be up early tomorrow morning, or should I say 'today.' It's past midnight. This girl is wiped.

dream about lovely things.
Pray. Seek God for help in the midst of sadness or even in happiness.

loves.
.Princess in Waiting.

College life.

As I'm sitting outside in the hallway at MTSU while my sister is in a class, my heart & mind are trying to process the fact that I'm in my senior year & I will soon be having to experience the college life, just like my sister is right now.

I'll be honest, I'm not ready. Not one bit. I fear that I won't know all that I should know, or I won't go for the right major. & I'll have to change. I have a couple choices right now, & my family is backing me up 100% with whatever I choose, but I'm still wandering & remembering my childhood days where I didn't have to worry about much of anything except the fact of waking up in the morning & remembering to clean my room or make my bed.

This campus is huge & as I'm here for the week with my sister while my school is on Fall break, I'm realizing that I don't believe this is what I want to do once I graduate....But how do I face that? How do I tell my parents that I don't want to go to college? Do I have a back-up plan? not really. I have ideas, but you can't go through life on 'ideas.'

Reality is hitting me & I know God has the best for me in His hands, but I'm fearful. I'm not ready for my Senior Year to be over. To be honest, I'm enjoying it...a lot. All the people I'm meeting & creating bonds with..What do I just leave them behind when I graduate? Do I tell them that it's been a great year, but now I have to face the real world? --I'm still figuring all of that out. I'm still searching.

The college life isn't for everyone. Some people say it's the best 4 years of their lives. & Some are just counting down the days til it's over. They say that you should choose a career path that you'd be happy to work in every day for the rest of your life & I do find that to be true, but I'm still wondering what path that would be for me. --I've always wanted "Journalism" --Up until a few months ago. Now I'm leading more towards cosmetology school. I would enjoy doing hair & nails & everything that comes with that for the rest of my life...at least I think I would. & You are pretty much promised a job once you graduate, depending on how good you are. Journalism on the other hand is not a promised field to go into right out of college. It's a dying field to be honest.

I will always have my time that I hide away & write. There will never come a day that I put my journals away & say goodbye to that part of me. This is who I am, just maybe not for an everyday lifestyle.


{I am not trying to sound like I'm complaining because I'm not.}
I am stoked to see where God takes me in the next chapter of my life that I'm coming upon. God has been taking me on some turns in the past couple months & also opening up old chapters that I thought were closed forever, but that's the beauty of God. He is capable of doing whatever He wants to do. He can bring people back into your life whenever He feels like it, or He can take people out without you even having a say in the matter.

I'm just searching to find myself. To find who I'm meant to be. Who I will travel with on this journey called 'life.' Or if I'll take it alone. Who will enter it while I'm traveling & who will be there from start to finish. Who I can look at everyday & know they are there for the long run & who I need to say the word 'goodbye' to.

God knows what road I'll be taking come August of 2012. He already has it planned out. That's the beauty in our God. --God could have a totally different plan for me, He could be sending me out on the Mission field half way across the world come next August. I don't know. But I do know that whatever He has in store for me, I'll be willing. Because I want to follow Him wherever He places me. I'm tired of running. 

.Princess in Waiting.

Beauty of the truth.

 

The truth is worth everything. 

That's the beauty in it.

Knowing you weren't worth enough of their time to be told the honest & brutal truth..

It hurts, it's painful.

Life doesn't always go according to plan, 

but that's why your life isn't written by you.

It's written by someone so much greater. 

Someone that is worth everything. 

Someone that won't lie.

Someone that won't cheat.

Someone that won't break your promises.

Someone that is there, through thick & thin.

Someone that cares.

Someone that believes in your dreams & won't leave once He's 'bored.'

-Grace.

prove yourself.

{So true. Girls, don't settle.}

Piece of Cake.

Our journey is flawed.

Our journey is unforgettable.

Our journey is work.

Our journey is patience.

Our journey is time.

Our journey is challenging.        

Our journey is special.

Our journey is not perfect. 

{I found this today as I was going through all my old writings. Written awhile ago, but I still feel like it can relate.} 

Grace.

Auntie Han-Han {has a nice ring to it.}

It's true my peeps,

I'm going to be an AUNT. April 15th 2012 my little Niece or Nephew will be here & I couldn't be happier! I'm ready to shower this baby in love & spoil it to no end.

I've been waiting for this day for a long time & believe me, it was worth the long wait. My brother & sister in-law are so blessed! My sister in-law is in her Senior year of College & yes, it's going to be hard, but we're going to be here for her & I know that God has them in His hands, watching over them.

This baby is going to have more love then they {the baby} knows what to do with.

We've officially named the baby for the time being... {Since we don't know what she is having yet.}

Baby Lima Bean.

Well, this is a short one for today, I just wanted to 'officially' announce that I'm going to be an Aunt....Yes, I may have a odd name for an Aunt, but do you think I care?! No. I finally get to have a little one in our house again. I'm stoked.

To anyone reading this, will you do me a favor though? Be praying for my sister in-law & Lima Bean...They need it.

Loves to all.

.Princess in Waiting.