The beauty of not knowing.

I was watching "One Tree Hill" late last night, it was the one where Brooke & Julian get married & I sobbed...I know what you all must be thinking, "how pathetic is she?" --The truth is, I cry whenever anyone get married or I hear their story on how they met, I was at my best friend's bridal shower & I couldn't even speak a blessing over her because inside of me, I was sobbing.

I guess the reason for this blog tonight is because I know someday, it'll be my turn. --I know it's just a tv show, but for me, I get captivated into the characters world, kind of like you would if you were reading a novel. You fall into the trap of their world & their daily lives that you kind of feel like you are that character at times, right? At least I do.

I know someday I'm going to have a boy that's willing to fight for me.
He won't give up & we will work together as a team.
We will challenge each other in our daily lives & we will always find the comfort of home in each other.

Right now, it's all a mystery to me on how or where or when I will meet my boy, but I think honestly, that's the adventure....not knowing.
Not knowing what day will begin as a ordinary day & wind up as a day that you someday tell your great grandchildren about.
If I knew, or even have a little in on when we would meet, I would be longing for that day & that day only. But, instead, I live everyday (or at least I try to) grateful that God has given me another day to live. Grateful for the people I get to call family & grateful for the support system I have surrounding me.

Some people may be reading this blog & wondering why I talk about love & my boy so much when I'm only 18 years old. --I guess the only answer I would have to that would be,
Every girl dreams of that moment that her whole life is swept up into her own story that involves a boy that promises to never leave.
We never prepare ourselves for the hurt that sometimes comes with putting ourselves out there so much, but we do it anyways. --We get hurt, & then we stand back up. Maybe not very quickly, but in time, we do. Because in all honesty, we are longing for love. Acceptance & love.

I am content & pleased with the place I am in, in my life right now.
Of course I have sad days, days of wanting a boy's hand to hold.
But, knowing that I'm holding out for the best, well it makes the wait all worth it.

There is beauty in not knowing what is going to come next & I prefer to look at this world through the eyes of God. After all, He is the one that knows how to captivate my heart the best.

...grace.