Day by day...

I was given the most meaningful gift I've ever received, this past Christmas. It's a five year, day by day journal. My sister either hand wrote or wrote up the questions on her typewriter for every day. It has truly been that little spark of inspiration I've needed in my every day since January 1st. Here are a couple of my favorite questions captured so far....more to come within the next five years.

a trek through Christmas time.

{he has reached that age where he wants to be independent...He used to fall over when we'd put his backpack on his shoulders. Guess he's ready to take on the role of big brother in three months.}

{Pixel enjoying the beautifully decorated tree done by Nina.}

{Peeps 1st Christmas.}

{Ok, consider this...I'm not married, therefore I have no children, so Penelope is my puppy child. Therefore, I shall post a massive amount of photos of her. Enjoy for the sake of me. ;) }

{I do believe Peep enjoyed the ribbon more than the gifts. Good to know for next year.}

{Penelope inspecting all the goodies she got in her stocking on Christmas morning.}

{Despicable Me 2 & homemade popcorn. That was the stillest he's ever been....for twenty minutes.}

{Penelope resting from all that hard work she does as a pup.}

{One of Nina's gift to her was this giant bed...she basically gets lost in it, but nonetheless, she loves it & so do I.}

{This was captured in the middle of him saying the word..."YES!" one of his newest obsessions.}

{While in Starbucks, Liam is only your friend for as long as you'll allow him to have 'ka-ka'...then he's gone. Needless to say, Popi was his favorite.}

[Crazy bath time curls.}

{After bath time cuddles with my little man.}

--I probably say this in every blog post, but my life is incredibly blessed.
I have a nephew that runs up to me & grabs my hand every time he sees me, a pup that gives me endless kisses when I come home from work & a family that I know always has my back. These are only a few of the moments captured over the holiday season...most of them are just in my memory, but those are the best moments in my opinion. The ones where your sister-in-love grabs your hand & puts it on her stomach & you feel your niece or nephew kick for the first time, or the moments of helping your momma cook Christmas dinner in the kitchen or seeing that spark in your nephew's eye as he sees the Christmas tree light up. It's these moments that you can't really capture, you just remember.

I hope as you all go to sleep tonight...your life is blessed.

Grace.

Thankful.

{This year I am incredibly thankful for two blessings in my life.}
1. The fact that this lovely boy will take on the role of big brother in a few short months & I will take on the role of auntie for a second time.
&&&&&,
2. Penelope. Peep. My pup. Outside of loving on my family, she is my world. She's the happiness I come home to after every day of working...She walked into my world right when I needed her, & she is the cuddliest 3 & 1/2 pound pup I've ever known. She has quickly become mine & I, hers. 

My world is full, my world is blessed. 

Enchanting Christmas.

My room is enchanted by Christmas.

{Christmas lights, candles that smell of Christmas pine, beautifully done Christmas music filling the air, & presents overflowing in my closets, just awaiting the night they can finally be wrapped & put under the tree.}

--It's all coming together.

 When this time of the year rolls around I feel like I'm still that 7 year old girl that would wake up around 2am on Christmas morning, wake my sister, Moriah up & we'd sit under the Christmas tree, while the rest of the house was still asleep & we'd talk about the giddiness & excitement of what the morning would hold when we'd finally be able to wake the rest of the house up.

As my nephew begins to get older & another one is on the way, I can't help but imagine & be excited what the next couple of years will hold. Those years where they are just beginning to believe....the mornings they come dashing into your room & wake up you at 5am on Christmas morning & you can just see the imagination & joy in their eyes. --I'm excited to see my childhood play out through them.

But, for tonight, I will be content with starring at my whimsical Christmas lights scattered throughout my room.

(This time of year is magical....not only because of the music filling every mall, or the Christmas movies that are on every channel on your TV, but because to me, it's the season of giving. Giving to others in need, buying someone's food in the drive-thru line. Simply blessing other people & being grateful for the family that's surrounding you.)

Enjoy this season & why not wake up tomorrow morning with the attitude that you'll bless someone today. No matter if it's big or small...you truly won't understand just how much brighter it'll make their day. Do it. Be a blessing.

The future that lies before me.

Today, November 29th, is black Friday. & we all know what that means....crazy lines in every store you decide to enter.

Well, I faced those crowds today & did some Christmas shopping of my own.
& as I'm standing in a line (for about twenty minutes), I began talking to the older lady behind me & she asked me where I went to school, where I work, ect. & as I began to tell her that I graduated high school almost two years ago & have yet to make any plans for college she went on her own rant of how important it is to have that little piece of paper saying I've went through college, gotten a degree & now I'm on my way to a big hefty job that's in a thirty story building & I dress in suits every day.

& what do you think I did? I just smiled & listened to her. I listened to her theory of how a women should have a job & work outside the home. Looking back, I wish I shared with her what my dream job is in my life. But, I was fearful of her rejection to the life I've dreamt up since I was a child. Maybe she would have accepted my goals, maybe she wouldn't have. She seemed pretty set on the fact that having a college degree is the best thing you can do in your life. Guess what? It's not.

My dream job is to be a Momma. Seriously. (you can pick your jaw up off the ground now.)

The thought of a future that involves little tiny feet running across my kitchen floors, finger prints all over the bottom of my windows, toys sprung out all over the place, & a husband that always comes home to us at the end of the day, is the best future I can imagine for myself. No, I won't have a college degree, but I'll have children to raise. I'll see their lives unfold instead of just hearing that they took their first steps from our nanny. I'll raise them to be followers of Christ, & to love on their siblings because there will come times in their lives that their siblings are all they have.

The future that I desire might not be ideal for some people or even make sense to them, but to me, it's perfect. It's the life I've seen play out since I was five & my parents gave me a baby doll to play with instead of barbies in our house. I've seen my Momma raise all five of us children, while being a stay at home Mom & mold us into who we are today. I watched my Dad be the man of the house & lead us in the direction of Christ. With the choices my parents made when I was young have molded my future for me & put those desires into my heart.

So, maybe I won't have that sheet of paper hanging on my wall declaring that I have a degree in "....", but, I will have finger painted pictures filling the front of my fridge & walls.
& to me that's greater than any degree I could imagine.

My dream job will come...maybe not tomorrow, or the next day, but it's in these moments, in the conversations I have with people that make me realize what it truly is that I want out of life.
--& that's family.

.Hannah.

writers.

"You are a writer. You get to live life twice."
-unknown.

pen it down. write it down. No matter if you don't go back & read your words for twenty years, you are penning a period of your life. A moment that someday the next generation of you will read. They will be in your attic shifting through old books & come across your words. Your words of sorrow & healing. Your words of the moment you knew without a shadow of a doubt that the man standing before you would someday be their daddy. Your words hold meaning. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow...but, in the years to come they will get you through hardships. They will bring you though the toughest times in your life & they will always bring you that perfect touch of contentment that you needed at that moment in time.

your penned words will remind you of people. The good & the bad. The ones that got away without your knowledge & the ones that remain standing by your side to this day. --your words will take you through time. They will help you travel back to the fondest memories you have & they will remind you of moments you wish to not relive.

Journal it, because at that certain moment, it's exactly what you needed. Maybe you needed to vent. Maybe you needed to let your feelings known, but not to anyone but yourself & the future you. That's okay, writing helps release feelings we never knew we had til we had the courage to pick up the pen.

Writing helps you escape to a world only known by you. a world where it's safe. a world where you become the most vulnerable self you've ever become. It's the place you let all your walls down & you spill open. You let the pen guide the way. you step out of your outer flesh, show off your scars, your brokenness, your guilt, --you reveal the rarest parts of you. You allow yourself those moments of complete freedom within the confines of your journal.

be free.

there are simply moments that you have to allow yourself that. just moments of complete freedom, where there are no distractions, no busyness, nothing...just you, a pen, journal & God.

journal your life. someday it might be worthy of publishing.

grace.

Penelope.

World, meet the newest 1 pound 10 ounce addition to our family. She's already been held by the little hands of Liam, had her first mini photoshoot with Amanda & marked her 'territory' all over Momma's house. --the journey has just begun. Welcome to the dysfunctional mix we call this family, Penelope.