I was sitting on the couch while my family was gathered around & as I was making my niece giggle, I realized I only have a few short moments of these left. Yes, I have a lifetime of moments, but of these 'come as you may, living under your parents roof' moments, I only have a handful left.
September 1st 2014, I'm finally placing my feet elsewhere. Yes, I know, I've said this so many times before, I've even penned it in journals, but this time...this time, it's for real. The apartment has been found & the lease has been signed. There's no turning back. & there's no desire to turn back....except for these moments that I will be leaving behind. The giggles coming from my niece & nephew. The thrifting days with my sister-in-love. The daily grind & familiar feeling of driving down our back roads to pull into the place I've called home for 13+ years.
It's definitely bittersweet.
Penelope & I will be packing up our belongings & saying goodbye to the familiarity of Momma & Daddy. The comforts of home will be left in the shadows as I make a new home for myself & my pup. I didn't do the 'typical' thing when I graduated high school...I stayed home & managed a house cleaning business, but it was within these last two years that I truly figured out the things I didn't want & the things I absolutely wanted. & with that, I feel like I'm better off than half of the people that went to college straight out of high school.
I needed these last two years, I needed to find the comfort & support that I had been searching for, within my parents. I needed to experience the giddiness of Penelope. I needed to find myself again & I needed to finally be in that place where I, alone, without anyone pressuring me, wanted to move out & find a new home.
It was tonight that I became sad though. Because, as I was sitting on the couch, I watched as the whole room went silent when giggles erupted from Canaan's mouth in my attempt to make her giggle. & it was at the moment that I realized just how truly blessed I am.
Yes, things will be changing within the next few months, but if things never changed, Becca wouldn't be in our lives & neither would Liam or Canaan. & life without any of them, well it simply wouldn't be complete.
It's finally my chance. My moment to make a name for myself. I'm growing up & moving out & that's an exciting feeling. I feel like for years I was always something for someone & in that time I lost myself, without even knowing it, I truly did. I'm ready to search out that girl again & find out what makes her giddy, I want to find out where this path may lead & who may enter it.
I'll always be a small town girl, I grew up in this town...so many memories are held within the streets & places of this town. Friends that have come & went, welcoming a sister-in-love into the family, the arrival of my nephew & niece & the nightly routine of my parents. So many of these memories aren't able to be captured on film or written about in journals, but that doesn't mean they're forgotten, some of the best moments are the ones you can only stow away in your heart.
Look out Nashville, Penelope & I are coming for you!
---grace.
