This is my life. My moment. My chance to stand in front of everyone I know & be proud of who I am. Leave a legacy in my high school years. Move forward & not be scared of what may come in my future.
Move out. Move on.
Finally let my heart be FREE to dance, be FREE to love. Tonight has been a night of really realizing who I am & what place I hold in this world. What place I hold in peoples hearts. & if I even hold a place. It's been my moment to have the light shine on some things in my life. To open my eyes to the unseen. Reveal to me what has been in the darkness for so long.
It's time. It's time to step out of my comfort zone & push myself. Without other people making me do it. I want to desire it on my own. I want to challenge myself & grow in who I am. Who my Heavenly Daddy wants me to be.
This is my chance to show the world that I'm not the 'typical' girl you'll come in contact with. ---I'm insecure. I'm jealous. I fearful. I'm very weak. I'm afraid of letting go.
I'm silly. I'm not a very good dancer.
--I finally found out what slow dancing is all about. I was once told, "If it's with the right person, slow dancing is not awkward." <--This is a true statement.
I step on toes.
I step on my own toes.
I trip on my own feet.
I like to do quirky things with my hair.
I spend an excessive amount of time doing my hair. {It's my weakness.}
I've spent a couple years waiting for something to happen, my heart is finally getting ready to say goodbye. Tonight I became okay with the idea of saying goodbye. {that's only how I feel tonight though.}
I'm not the kind of girl you'll find dancing like crazy, or singing at the top of her lungs, but if you stick around long enough. She begins to trust & open herself up. -She wants to dance like crazy & she also wants to be twirled.
I won't be the one to volunteer to pray out loud, although I love to pray & have long talks with my Heavenly Daddy.
I adore the nights I can get dressed up, sometimes for no reason. But, I think I adore the nights of sweatpants & hoodies more.
I can put up a nice fight. Normally I won't let you walk all over me, I can hold my own ground. Don't let this pretty face fool you.
I believe in being radically, tingles in your toes, flutters in your heart, silly smiles, with crazy, inspiring, write out your heart--in love.
Have I experienced this love yet? no.
I do know that someday I will though.
I know that on nights like these, or when something happens in my life--I write. It's my way of letting everything out. Of feeling free. When I write, I hold nothing back. Sometimes, it's just for me to see, sometimes it's for the whole world to read. I'm an open book most of the time.
I'm a writer, I rarely hold things back.
I love to write cards.
I love to encourage people.
There are so many people I come in contact, that through their eyes I can see that they have no one that believes in them. No one they can run to. No one they feel is their constant. --We're all children of God, we ALL need love. I want to love them. I want them to know they have someone that believes in them.
I can see it in their eyes.
--Have you ever not thought about someone in a long time & then all the sudden they begin to show up again in your dreams, a couple nights in a row?
This is me right now.
Do you ever feel like dreams could be a product of your future? Something God may be getting you equipped for? He may be preparing you for something? Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but this is my place to write out my heart. If you don't want to hear it, you have the freedom to leave. I'm not stopping though, because I know there are people that want to read about my sometime quirky, sometimes sad thoughts.
I'll continue writing, no matter if I'm the only one left.
Grace.
