Our story.

   
I'd just like to brag on this man for a second & the beautiful story God is entrusting us with.
  pda & social media isn't my thing when it comes to my relationship. It's our story. Mine & his.

  Some days though, I feel I need to branch out & share it. Give people a glimpse into what is waiting for you when you allow God the pen to your story. When you trust HIM fully, beautiful things happen.

   I met Trevor 3 years ago in a Bible Study my sister & I hosted in our apartment in Murfreesboro. I was instantly smitten. Everyone close to me knew how I felt about him....except him. I made sure of that.
 
  In my family the book "Hero" (by: Fred Stoeker) is a very well known book. Any man that wants to date a Kessie daughter has to read that first. It's also a book all us of girls have read. It describes my heart so well. I've known since reading that book that I was holding out for a man worthy of the title "Hero". I strived to have a heart like Rose. To have my heart so hidden in Jesus that he'd have to deeply pursue Jesus to get to me. Every week that passed for Bible Study & Trevor would walk through my door, I would repeat over & over in my head: "have a heart like Rose. Don't let him have any inkling that you like him." --for the entire time he attended Bible Study I did just that. I was a friend to him. Nothing more. In that same year I watched him get into a relationship & then move out of my state.

  I saw that as God closing that door to there ever being an "us". I was ok with that, because I trusted God with my story. Over the course of the last two years, he's crossed my mind every so often. Never did I reach out because I promised God, myself & my family that I would be pursued in my next relationship. I would allow him to lead us.

  {On February 14th 2017 God said to me in a dream: "this is your year, Hannah Grace."}

  April 11th 2017 I received a message from him. --instantly all those feelings came back. I continued to hide my heart & gave him over to God. I have prayed time & time again over him, me & us.
 
On May 21st we took 39 days of silence- we both heard confirmation from God that it was needed. He was asking for some alone time with us. He was asking us to Fully trust Him with each other. It would require us to rely on God during those hard days, instead of reaching out & seeking comfort in one another.
 
I said goodbye to Trevor once again on May 21st. It was one of the hardest, yet easiest things I've ever done, because we were both in agreement that this is what God wanted. We trusted Him enough to put Him above our desire for one another.
   
June 29th 2017, Trevor lead us in the direction of a relationship & with that came Facetime calls until 3am most mornings.
{He has pursued me, daily. He has lead us, daily.}

  July 15th he headed for Tennessee soil. He met with my dad first thing to get his permission to date me & I quote from him; "because I didn't want to see you for the first time in 2.5 years until I had your dad's permission." This man is everything I've ever prayed for.

October 1st 2017: He moved his belongings to Tennessee soil again. Our twelve hour drive to one another turned into twenty minutes across town. He moved for us.  

My family doesn't do the "typical relationship", I get it. We get judged & made fun of for our boundaries & standards. I've been told countless times that my standards are too high. Guess what? Trevor has met every single one of those standards & surpassed them too.

  My parents have always taught us to date with a purpose. Set your boundaries for your future relationship long before you ever get in one, because once you're in one, all those emotions are running wild & it's extremely difficult to think straight on what boundaries you truly want.

  I made my list long before Trevor. My boundaries weren't normal. I raised the bar high for my next relationship because I knew I wanted to make it to the altar completely pure. --during our 39 days the one thing that weighed heaviest on my heart was: "no kissing until my wedding day". I knew it was far fetched, but I stood firm in it. I prayed to God that it would be Trevor's too. I never allowed him to know that was my desire. I knew I needed to hear it from his mouth first, because then I would know it wasn't just his desire because it was my desire. July 8th he spoke those words to me. I knew then God was writing something spectacular.

  On December 23rd 2017 Trevor purposed in the most romantic way. Lakeshore Park. Surrounded by family, as rose petals lined the grass. I couldn't say yes fast enough when he dropped to one knee. Some may say our proposal came fast, but as my mom always said to us growing up, 'when you know, you know.' We set out in the very beginning to break generational curses. To break the 'norm' & not allow Satan any loop holes into our children's future. Every single time we have set another boundary in place, we've had our children in mind. The choices we make now, effect our children & our grand babies & their futures.

This man is the definition of a Hero. Someone I'm proud to call mine. Someone I'm so grateful I prayed over & held out for. Our journey hasn't been easy. We've faced our challenges, but one thing we've always remained doing is, doing it together. Taking everything before God, together. We are a unit.

Trevor & I have strong boundaries. - - We're never alone in a home together, we have never kissed on the lips & won't until Our Wedding Day. We've asked our family to hold us accountable to our boundaries. We've made Christ the center of our relationship & make prayer a part of our daily life.

Here we are: 40 days away from saying "I do".  40 days until I hold the title of Mrs. Broaddus for the rest of our days & we can begin Our forever.

  Girls: hold out. Don't conform to the world's standards. Or the lack of boundaries this world has to offer. Stand firm in holding out for a hero. He's coming.

I love you, Trev.

His Hands.

  Today as I held onto his hand & yours while we prayed, I saw him cry. Whether it was because he is sending off two of his daughters to Italy for two weeks or because he was holding onto his youngest daughter’s hand, as she held the hand of the man she’ll someday call her husband.

  {I found myself in the middle of two very strong hands.}
 
My father’s hands: the hands that held me when I let out my first cry when he delivered me. Hands that carried the tininess of his children to bed every night. The hands that have held the hand of his bride for 34 years. They are the hands that work tirelessly, day in & day out to be able to provide for his family. These are the hands I’ve held onto for 23 years.
 
  Then there’s his hands: the hands that have gently held mine since July twentieth. When I catch a glimpse of his hands I see the strength in them. Those same hands will someday place a ring on my left hand, never to be taken off. They are the hands that become black & dirty because of car repairs & manly work, yet they are gentle enough to someday carry me over the threshold of our first home together. The hands that will someday hold our children for the first time, right after they’re welcomed into this world.
 
  Today I stood between the two most important men in my life. I held onto both of their hands for as long as I could & as I did I felt the urge to comfort my father, yet cling to my future groom as well.
 
  Here I am, twenty-three years old & I know his face. I know that the dimples in his cheeks appear when I walk into his view. I know his laugh & how it gets louder when he makes me laugh. I know that he prefers silence & cuddles in the car when we drive. I know the name of the man that will someday hold the title of my husband.
 
  It’s no longer hidden or only heard in dreams. He’s my reality. He’s my person & best friend.
 
{He’s the man of my prayers.}
 
Hannah grace.

Favorite things.

Tonight as I was doing my devotionals one thing they suggested was to make a list of the things that make you the happiest & to focus on that. To leave the 'bad things' of the day behind & focus on the good. So, as I was writing my list in my journal just now, I decided to share it here too. Be vulnerable, right?
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1. Bean, Boo & Bear. Those are the nicknames for my two nephews & niece. Everything about them brings me joy. 

2. Penelope Aspen. My pup. My cuddle bug. My alarm clock most mornings. My 8 pound bundle of curls. 

3. Coffee. 

4. worship music. Worship sessions with God are one of my favorite parts of the day.

5. conversations in the car with God. 

6. letters in the mail, or in general. 

7. the bond I share with my sisters. Each & every one of them I have a personal relationship with that I wouldn't change for anything. 

8.  naps while it's raining outside. 

9. the first snow fall of Winter.

10. road trips.

11. peppermint ice cream. 

12. Seeing something happen that only God would be capable of doing.

13. babies. 

14. Savannah, GA.

15. a day completely free of work.

16. sunrises. 

17. Christmas Eve.

18.  reading poetry.

19. watermelon season.

20.  the first signs of Fall in the air.

21. my parents. 

22.  New York City in every season.

23.  thrift stores. 

24. you.

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.the writer.

"This is your year, Grace."

 {God told me at the beginning of this year: "This is your year, Grace." I remember it so vividly. It was a dream where God revealed that to me. I instantly woke up & journaled about it. I didn't let that moment slip away. & ever since then, God has definitely been revealing to me that this IS my year. It's my year:
 To journal more. Travel. Mend broken friendships. Trust deeper. Blog again. Experience Rome, Italy. Allow God the pen to my story. Try new things. Read, a lot. Fall in-love with a church family again. Love deeper. Be vulnerable with my heart & feelings. Praise HIM, even in the storms of my life. Travel some more. I don't care where it is, just put me in a car or a plane & I'll be on my way. {Drink more coffee, cause a girl always needs her coffee.}

I don't want to look back on the year 2017 with any regrets. So, I will journal it all. Whether it's here or in the confines of my personal journal. I'll capture it all. I'll write with the rawest parts of me & hold nothing back. I'm learning to be more vulnerable. It's a challenge, because it's hard to allow people into my feelings, but this is a year of firsts. 

I have a feeling this will be the year I'll look back on years from now & say: "That's when it all changed." In the most beautiful way possible. 


 --> Read with caution, because I will be raw at times.
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In the last year my life has taken some beautiful turns. I'm moved back to my original roots. Back to the place I called home for 15 years before I moved in 2014. God called me back. I told Him not long before He called me back: "I never want to move back home. It'll feel too backwards to me." NEVER say never to God. He takes that as in invitation, basically.
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God has challenged me to my inner core since moving back home. I've fallen in-love with a beautiful church & rekindled a friendship that was lost years ago with two friends I've known since I was born. Our families have always been entangled, but seasons passed & we disconnected. God has brought us back together in 2017 & I couldn't be happier. We challenge each other in our Faith & lift each other up. I'm definitely blessed by them.

{I've become addicted to coffee. It's bad. Recently I was introduced to Iced Coffee & I'm officially hooked. Try it. It'll change your life.}

I AM GOING TO ITALY. October 2017. I will walk the streets of Rome with a coffee in one hand & a journal in the other. Fair warning--I may never return to the states. Kidding, kinda.

I've come to love my middle name so much. I feel like Grace describes me & my personality better than Hannah ever has. So, If I begin introducing myself as Grace, you'll know why. 

I love the mornings where I'm the only one awake in the house. Just me, Peep & God. I just experienced that yesterday{Saturday} & loved it. The quietness where you feel like God is sitting right next to you, enjoying His own cup of coffee. 

I gained another brother in February. My sister got married to the loveliest boy. Their marriage is beautiful & I'm blessed to be able to look to them for advice & most importantly, prayer. They are constantly my sounding board & neither one of us would have it any other way.

God has reminded me time & time again that if I trust HIM, things always turn out better. He's brought some lovely people into my life because I've fully trusted Him with them. I'm in a season of trusting, fully. & personally, I love it. When you give God your problems & worries, your life is a lot less stressful.

Readers, give God your burdens. Even if they aren't burdens & it's something He's been asking for- Something you don't want to let go of, in fear that you'll never get it back. Trust Him. He knows what's best for you. He always has your best interest at heart. Give him or her over to God- Great things happen when we trust God.

"When we honor God, God honors us." 

I was told that a week ago & it has literally been repeating in my head everyday since then. God honors you when you are faithful to His wishes. His promises are beautiful. God would love to take you on a journey, if you'd just let Him take the lead. Let go & let God. 

Until next time, lovelies.

.grace. 

New Grounds.

My life has drastically changed in the course of a few days. As of September 1st I will no longer be a resident of Murfreesboro. I will be packing up my car & Penelope & driving back to my old roots. Something I never, truly never thought I would do. I thought this place would be my forever home & then it all changed.

My heart is being pulled back to familiar grounds. I’m going back to a job I never thought I would, but God is beginning to reveal to me that my time is up here. Two years. I got two years to be roommates with my sister & best friend. I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything in the world.
I learned what it meant to live on VERY little- I learned the true value of money & living paycheck to paycheck. I had fear take a hold of me as Penelope almost died about a year ago. I never truly rooted myself within this town- friends never became genuine, but sisters grew closer. I worked retail & let people take advantage of me, but then stood my ground & walked out their doors, never to return again.

When I was asked 2 years ago why I was choosing Murfreesboro as my next step, I would tell people: “I need to find my relationship with God again.”

I found Him. He has met me in my darkest hours. He has sat right beside me as I cried in my closet, on nights when I didn’t know what my purpose was in this town. He has NEVER ONCE failed me when it came to paying rent, bills, ect. I made it on my own- barely, but I did. I’ve added thousands of miles onto my car, watched more sunrises then I can count as I drove home to Crossville for work & grown in my spiritual walk.

If that’s the only thing I take away from the last two years: then I consider myself blessed. It’s what I came to this city for & I’m leaving with so much more then I asked for.

I have no idea what’s in store in the coming months, but I am prepared to take on whatever it is God has for me.

I do know that travel will be apart of it- whether it’s near or far, I want to explore everywhere around me. My sister & I want to explore this beauty God created. We want to continue seeing sunrises & sunsets.

I can guarantee I won’t be rooted for long, that’s not a part of who I am.

Our day.

Momma,

  Twenty-two years ago to this hour, you were in labor with me. You & dad were about to welcome your fifth child into this world. I would soon become your 'hardest' child, because, a tooth would be discovered in my mouth right after delivery & I would grace you with a colic for the first six months of my life.

  I would be the last child you ever carried to term, with the miscarriage that happened in 2000 being the last child you ever conceived. I'll always hold the title of your 'baby girl.'

  Dad would soon surprise you with having a song dedicated to you on the radio, right after I was born.

  While he played that song for us tonight- 22 years later, your eyes filled up with tears & you looked at the man that held your hand during delivery & has continued to hold your hand every day since. Through the days of trail & days of success- he's been the man you've looked to. He chose you & you chose him 33 years ago & you've never looked back since.

  Josiah would not get his wish of having a younger brother, once again- & would soon decide that dressing us up in army gear would have to do. He'd take on the role of protector for his four sisters from the start & carry that throughout his life. 22 years later though, he would break the 'trend' & allow Liam a little brother to play with.
---------------------------------------------

  Today, we celebrate you, Momma. You gave me life. This day is just as special for me, as it is for you. You cared for me & nurtured me for 9 long months. You thought about me before yourself & still do to this day. You hold the title of 'momma' with grace & tenderness.

  I celebrate this day- my birthday, because you & dad chose to allow God to give you as many children as He saw fit. Thank you for choosing life. So many babies are denied even a chance at life...a chance at becoming who God has destined them to be.

  I only know from stories what that day was like for you & dad- & the four siblings that awaited me at home. I do know though, that from the moment a little girl with a full head of dark hair & a chubby belly was welcomed into this world, I've been loved. & I've been loved deeply.

  Thank you for the long sleepless nights & for all the 'messy' adventures that I brought into your life. Thank you for giving me siblings, which I would soon find out would be my best & truest friends throughout the years. Thank you for the years of homeschooling, driving lessons & teaching me what it meant to be a Godly women.

  This day truly should be your day. I will forever share this day with you.


.Your Gracie girl.

Song- "Beautiful In My Eyes" By: Joshua Kadison

Saturdays.

  Here I sit on one of the prettiest saturday evenings I’ve seen in a very long time & yet I have no plans. I will sit on this porch until the sun sets & then I’ll go inside, finish the laundry that is currently spinning in the washer, make a pot of coffee & finish out my evening with some poetry reading.

  I sound like I’m 80 years old, I know. This is my definition of a Saturday evening though. I’ve never been that girl that hits up the clubs or bars on the weekends or anytime for that matter. I’ve tasted wine twice & both times it burned the entire time it went down.

  I love nights in- movies, coffee, Penelope cuddles, human cuddles, sister talks, evenings spent having conversations with God.
 
 I was recently asked- “where do you see yourself in 2 years?”

  Honestly, I don’t know. I’d like to say I’ll be married & (possibly) a kiddo on the way. Or maybe I’ll be traveling the world with my man by my side, all the while living in a traveling “tiny house”. Whatever it may be, I’ll be happy & blessed.

  If I’m still apartment living with my pup & sister, I’ll be ok too. I’m learning to be happy in each season God gives me & to not rush things. As much as I want to some days, I need to enjoy the here, the now. //we can never get this time, this moment back. Enjoy it, savor it. 

  So, tonight I will sit on this porch with Penelope & thank God for this beautiful day & also thank Him for the future, because even though I don’t see it right now or can even comprehend what it may hold- I know God has something exquisite planned out for me.
 
 Tonight, I thank Him.